Dojo Of Coolness

Platform 5

Platform 5 was an unprecedented success based on the high turn-out which was very encouraging for Beast-Society. The club was packed and the atmosphere, electric. But I'd like to do a little math.
As you can see there were 28 crews with an average of 2.6-3 members per crew. which means....
3 x 28= 84
the excess capacity after subtracting the Platformers is 216 people [derived from 300(club capacity) - 84 (Platformers)]

BS managed to attract these 216 people through maybe aggressive promotion or through word of mouth. BS would do well to keep up getting this kind of support from the community. or maybe it's because people were anxious to see the next big thing in the Hip-Hop scene after Platform 4 churned out a complete asshole as the champion.

Whatever.

So,the atmosphere was good. "How about the music?" I can hear you cynical pieces of shit screaming out. The performances was erratic. I did a graph based on the performances and this is how it looked like:


While some groups totally rocks socks on cocks(2Ways,Velvet Groove),some group were so pathetic,i had to chain my ass to my the seat in order to keep myself bitch-slapping them to Brooklyn where they'll probably get gang-raped by crack addicts. Guys included.And no matter what some might say,forgetting your lyrics when you're a 4 or 5 people crew is unforgiveable. Everybody will forget their lyrics at least once in their performing lifetime,but that's when they're complacent and lazy like me. When you want to make a good impression on your first performance,you better sweat your ass on it,girlfriend. So remember,forgetting lyrics is not okay. Make it a habit and you'll burn in hell.

I thought Supreme One was really good and i was taken aback at some of the reaction he got from the crowd who dubbed him "Eminem's cousin" with more than a touch of sarcasm. Apparently,having an idol where you look up to and imitate credibly is not a good thing but when you commit an total hip-hop sin like forgetting your lyrics or rapping in Malay (hehe!), suddenly you're greeted with a standing ovation. Totally Wah Piang Eh!!!!!!! Supreme One was talking about him being "numero uno" and shit and i think that a little bit of arrogance in hip-hop goes a long way.

Double Opposites was another group that totally impressed me. They were so "heng cute leh".
There was this chinese girl who looked so kawaii but when she open her mouth to sing,it totally blew me away. And her name's is Pepper. Heng cute right? And the guy who was rapping was so touchingly raw,it hit a nerve and i almost got a seizure.
I remembered this particular line that he spit(sorry if i get it wrong ah)
".......tired of being treated like a jackass
"my dad told me if you wanna rap,wait after NS"

or somethin like that lah
but bottomline they rocked socks on cocks.

So that's it for Platform5. It was a good experience for some,totally wah lau eh nabeh cibai for some.

Not that anybody gives a shit

My audio playlist:
Emilie Simon
Jon Brion
Polyphonic Spree
Wilco
Iron And Wine
Ben Gibbard of Deathcab For Cutie and The Postal Service
Buena Vista Social Club
Portishead
My Chemical Romance( i hate em0/punk-pop/whatever but this shit's really good.)
Accuradio.com Swingin' Pop Standards

Movies:
Screenwriter Charlie Kaufman's work e.g Eternal Sunshine Of the Spotless Mind,Being John Malkovich
Woody Allen's romantic fluff a.k.a Everyone Says I Love You
Woody Allen's really intense dramas e.g Husbands And Wives,Annie Hall

Woody Allen's bittersweet comedieds e.g Manhatten
Zach Braff's(of TV sitcom Scrubs fame) Garden State
Punch Drunk Love
Sam Mendes' American Beauty and Road To Perdition


I've recently got into this whole 19 year old man mid-life crisis where nothing holds any meaning anymore. A job as a carpark attendant where i skive off playing FIFA 2005 with random strangers at Lucky Plaza. Sweaty sundays. Caffeine puts me to sleep.Nicotine withdrawal symptoms. Television shows me how colours are supposed look like. My eyes are oblivious to any movement. Everything seems like a photograph from a distant past. Life is so much more meaningful when nothing holds any meaning anymore. I have nothing to lose only seconds before i die.


The things i look forward to:
Poh Ellysa
Poh Edry
Spongebob Squarepants Sentosa (wah piang eh! alliterations lioaz!) Gala Premiere

Ridzal (This is so gay liaoz..and if you're reading this you gotta check out ahmad's blog. semangat army buah pley wai! mcm sentimental coming-of-age story bodoh!)


I could include Azmi,Yazid and Tweenage but since i meet them every other day,so fuck them.

I followed Azmi to go for a make-over photo-shoot the other day and he gave me picture to keep so i thought i would share it with everyone.

He spend half his bursary award of 300 bucks to do this photo shoot at chinatown.He thinks it makes him look like Johnny Depp in Donnie Brasco. Comments can be made on the tagboard.

So thank you to everyone who made me realize that life essentially is just a transitional state from the creation of the soul to its decay. And i have decided to fill this transitional period with good people,good friends,a good companion,good music and good movies.

Take your boyfriends and shove it up your ass
Take your girlfriends and shove it up your ass
when it really matters most,nobody cares
nobody gives a shieeeeetttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt



I'm the Pete Doherty of this whole damn thing.

Who Wants To Pre-Approve My Lyrics?

*courtesy of The Best Page In The Universe*

Its been a while since i updated. Due to certain fucked-up obligations,i couldn't perform for the SgHip-Hop Fest although it would have been a pleasant experience to share the same stage with Singapore's greatest pop star potential,Taufik.The SgHip-Hop Fest was even mentioned on allhiphop.com.Click on this link. So another year goes,where i perform for a couple of hip-hop gigs,get all fucked up in the brain,live in seclusion and die in lyrical obscurity. Maybe the cycle's about to change if I get the guest slot for Platform 5.



As you can see,the poster is quite horrid and looks like the bowel discharge of a heroin addict the morning after a junkie Christmas Party. But i probably couldn't do better. Fuck. I can't even draw a fucking straight line without sniffing some Bolivian cocaine and even then i would draw a pair of shrunk testicles on the straight line. Maybe i'll perform two songs for my slot. The two songs that i performed in Platform4. And i hope that nobody remembers the results of Platform4 so they won't introduce me as the "champion" and all that jazz. I prefer taking people by surprise. They're so much easier to impress that way. But with a name as absurd as Ninja Muscle,guess the element of surprise will always be there. I love it when people laugh at my stage name because it shows how stupid and narrow-minded they are due to the pre-conceived notions that rappers should have cool names like Betty Boop and Ni**az Have Assholes Too.

So i'm hoping that i'll get the slot and that my stupid carpark fucking job doesnt interfere with it. People need to wake up 'cause once the Ninja Muscle is bizzack,the whole game is over. Arrogant huh? Suck my balls.

And so i was,sitting there in my maroon baju kurung looking like a roguish pirate from the Malaccan Empire era when the dikir barat group (Emas + Harapan) was introduced on stage. They were dressed in the traditional baju kurung complete with a headscarf like the girl in the KFC ads who claims to like it spicy. The aura imposed by the Tok Juara and the Tukang Karut was so overwhelming that it rivalled the time Earth was threatened by the arrival of Fliza that forced Son Goku to use all his Kame Hame Ha powers to defeat him(re:DragonBallZ episode 28). All of the dikir boys looked so "waduh waduh cute nye" in their baju kurung and headscarf with the fake smiles plastered on their faces,i swear Roy Keane would have had an erection.

And there he was. Blond hair,imitation Rayban aviator shades and a face even his own mother would wanna punch. This is when i knew something special would happen. We locked eyes with each other. He stared at me through his shades. I licked my lips. He started touching himself. I showed him my set of pink nipples. He ran his hand through his hair. I scratched my armpit. Azmi terkencit. He winked at me. That's when i knew it. This cannot be anything else.
This is...............................................
Love


He kept smiling at me throughout his performance and he kept giving me a "come-hither" look.
Oh gawdddddd,he was soo hot! I closed my eyes and i visualized my hottest most erotic fantasies involving him right on the spot and this is how it looked like......



after the performance was over, i approached him and bashfully introduced myself
and this is the conversation that ensued.

"hi name saya NinjaMuscle. kawan-kawan i panggil i Baby Bucuk."

"Oh.Name i Boi_Sachok. Tadi i peform sachok tak? Mesti sachok punye, tengok lah rambut i yg mohawk mcm babi nie abeh kaler blond. I dari tadi tengok you. You ni sachek ah"

I was soo embarassed but i was diggin his compliments,nawmean?

"takdelah. I tak lah sachek sgt. U tinggal ne? U uat ape? Waduh waduh."

"I dikir first eleven ah. Cuma yang paling sachok je boleh jadi dikir first eleven"

"eh Boi_sachok,mlm nie i nak gi hendrix atau chocolate bar ah. U nak ikut tak? kita leh minum2 Chivas Regal and pas tu dtg rumah i mlm2 tengok video.teehee.If u noe wat i mean..........." (gawddd,i can' believe i was that horny)

"Boleh ah pi i kene balik siang pasal i kene sembahyang subuh and pagi pagi i ade dikir practice. dikir practice important pasal kalau bukan kita nak preserve adat melayu,sape nak buat kan?
And kalau kita tak preserve adat melayu macam mane nak dapat budak-budak pompan sachek nak ajak gi clubbing? Betul tak?"

"betol tu abg sachok"

He then proceeded to take my number but he didn't call on Friday night. He didnt call on Saturday night too. I'm soo lonely i could cry. BOI SACHOKKK!!! WO AI NI! WEI SHE MAAAA!!

this is one of those emo moments where i take an emo picture of myself and edit it usin photoshop and add emo captions to highlight the obvious fact that i'm not getting any sex.

I urge everybody and anybody who visits this blog to join the Beats Society forum.
It'd definitely help if everybody exercise their right to bitch on the forum as whining on forums are cited as the cause of the declining rates of domestic abuse by sociologists. The local scene needs more pseudo-intellectuals with their wannabe poetic ramblings giving negative criticisms while hiding behind a computer screens. So join now and stand a chance to win 5566's latest album and the whole Meteor Garden series in DVD format. Heng cute liaoz!!!

Messed Up
Lyrics: Nthral, Noodle
Beat: Nthral

Jigga was the embodiment of it. No rapper can survive without it. What's IT? Arrogance. And Nthral has tons of it judging by his new track. He practically swaggers throughout the whole track with ease and breeze even as he talks about problems,mistakes and his tactics to avoid them.

No man lives a perfect life
To earn sumthin',you go through struggle and strife
Nothin comes with an easy price
You want success,it don't come overnight

With a diction as crisp as an ironed shirt and a confident flow,he embarks on lyrical journey to right his past wrongs and override any obstacles that comes his way. The west-coast beat is reminiscent of Dr Dre circa 2001 and is drenched in G-funk. Noodle's vocals on the hook adds a sweet but not too saccharine touch to the track balancing out Nthral's thugged-out flow and she sound like a more gangsta R&B chick without the emotional baggage. The only problem is that it clocks in at 2: 55 which means if you went to take a piss when listening to this song,by the time you come back,it'll be over.Too bloody short i say. What can i say? I totally enjoyed this track and even though Nthral thinks success won't come overnight for him,it's gonna come soon enough.

(8.5 wah piangs out of 10)

contact me at alfafafa@hotmail.com for the track. Feedback is welcomed.