Dojo Of Coolness

And so i was,sitting there in my maroon baju kurung looking like a roguish pirate from the Malaccan Empire era when the dikir barat group (Emas + Harapan) was introduced on stage. They were dressed in the traditional baju kurung complete with a headscarf like the girl in the KFC ads who claims to like it spicy. The aura imposed by the Tok Juara and the Tukang Karut was so overwhelming that it rivalled the time Earth was threatened by the arrival of Fliza that forced Son Goku to use all his Kame Hame Ha powers to defeat him(re:DragonBallZ episode 28). All of the dikir boys looked so "waduh waduh cute nye" in their baju kurung and headscarf with the fake smiles plastered on their faces,i swear Roy Keane would have had an erection.

And there he was. Blond hair,imitation Rayban aviator shades and a face even his own mother would wanna punch. This is when i knew something special would happen. We locked eyes with each other. He stared at me through his shades. I licked my lips. He started touching himself. I showed him my set of pink nipples. He ran his hand through his hair. I scratched my armpit. Azmi terkencit. He winked at me. That's when i knew it. This cannot be anything else.
This is...............................................
Love


He kept smiling at me throughout his performance and he kept giving me a "come-hither" look.
Oh gawdddddd,he was soo hot! I closed my eyes and i visualized my hottest most erotic fantasies involving him right on the spot and this is how it looked like......



after the performance was over, i approached him and bashfully introduced myself
and this is the conversation that ensued.

"hi name saya NinjaMuscle. kawan-kawan i panggil i Baby Bucuk."

"Oh.Name i Boi_Sachok. Tadi i peform sachok tak? Mesti sachok punye, tengok lah rambut i yg mohawk mcm babi nie abeh kaler blond. I dari tadi tengok you. You ni sachek ah"

I was soo embarassed but i was diggin his compliments,nawmean?

"takdelah. I tak lah sachek sgt. U tinggal ne? U uat ape? Waduh waduh."

"I dikir first eleven ah. Cuma yang paling sachok je boleh jadi dikir first eleven"

"eh Boi_sachok,mlm nie i nak gi hendrix atau chocolate bar ah. U nak ikut tak? kita leh minum2 Chivas Regal and pas tu dtg rumah i mlm2 tengok video.teehee.If u noe wat i mean..........." (gawddd,i can' believe i was that horny)

"Boleh ah pi i kene balik siang pasal i kene sembahyang subuh and pagi pagi i ade dikir practice. dikir practice important pasal kalau bukan kita nak preserve adat melayu,sape nak buat kan?
And kalau kita tak preserve adat melayu macam mane nak dapat budak-budak pompan sachek nak ajak gi clubbing? Betul tak?"

"betol tu abg sachok"

He then proceeded to take my number but he didn't call on Friday night. He didnt call on Saturday night too. I'm soo lonely i could cry. BOI SACHOKKK!!! WO AI NI! WEI SHE MAAAA!!

this is one of those emo moments where i take an emo picture of myself and edit it usin photoshop and add emo captions to highlight the obvious fact that i'm not getting any sex.